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Archive for July, 2008

Precedents

Perhaps they are right,
but who could be they?
the silent authority that damn often
prove themselves right,
but here digress, and say
what do they know
but that writing, like these strings
of words,
of slightly pleasing esses,
this thing you have has had precedent
hasn’t it and was quite
displeasing
to your taste. but you could not
for the love of you, resign them
to the fate [...]

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Listening

Late nights, I listen to you tell me about the many times he held your hand so tightly as though he never wanted to let go, or those times your flesh quivered at the sight of him, how your heart welled up at his every smile. I listen and I try to merely listen, but [...]

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At night, I sit on my bed, thinking, fishing for my phone buried beneath the covers. In my mind, I flick through images of people I know, I search for confidence in a truly deep relationship, but no one means that much to me. After all, I do not mean much to anyone as well. [...]

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There was an incident a couple of days ago that woke me up a bit from my often ordinary and uneventful existence. Few things of late have jolted me out of my quiet plodding along. But I digress. It was early in the morning, around half past eight. The application week for an organization I’m [...]

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All this talk of death and dying, of suicide by the age of 35, of letting things go and not forming attachments…I think what these all boil down to is how greatly dissatisfied I am with life. There are moments when I am filled with such an overwhelming fear that if I stay too long [...]

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Like amateur weavers we seek patterns of meaning in the fragments of our awareness as though reality and our lives were a mere train of thought needing an outline. We believe in the importance of the search, assuming that the truth that would finally give our existence some coherence lies somewhere beneath the rubble of [...]

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There are times when I wish I had this room all to myself that I may weep when I wish to or laugh silly at nothing in particular. But I have gotten used to the person sleeping across on the other bed, finding comfort in her presence filling up the empty space. Had the air [...]

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She scrubs hard, scrubs and leaves not a trace of skin untouched, loosening the dirt, hoping that as the soap suds rinse away with
the flowing water, her skin pales a hue, growing sallower, lighter than the earth-tones she’s worn all her life. How hypocritical,
she thinks in midscrub, suddenly relaxing from the taut concentration of [...]

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My mind keeps drifting to pondering on the value and meaning of life these late days. I thought I had convinced myself of the uselessness of such ruminations, but looks as if not. I know assured answers are not available for such questions, especially not from my feeble mind, but I ask these questions anyway. [...]

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